Can people truly change? I want to believe this is true. Not only for others also myself. When thinking back on my life I am embarrassed in a lot of places based on my reactions to some situations due to the level of my emotional maturity. Scary to think if people CAN’T change then I still have within me the immaturity to continue to react in manors which would leave me embarrassed for myself once again. Maybe people can change and it’s more about the growth people make along the journey. Growth = Change. No Growth = No Change. Then to complicate things…how to react when someone claims change and yet behavior in secret reveals no change. Do people REALLY want to change? Or is the drone of life enough? What do you think?
First Jamie, let me thank you for asking such a simple, direct question..just kidding! While I hear you're asking me about people changing, it feels like the underlying issue is about being embarrassed. Embarrassment is about the ego, so does the ego change? What does the ego need? Not to be embarrassed? What is lost in being embarrassed? We cannot answer whether people really "want" to change as that decision is so intimate it would be nothing more than a guess. Let's consider an alternative to changing. The question has me feel that control is at stake. Is it possible to choose to let go of the judgment you hold on yourself for behavior that may well have been age appropriate? Is it an option to allow for imperfection? What is lost at being imperfect? What is lost at witnessing others imperfection? I realize I am doing as much asking as answering but we can agree, what you posed is no simple matter with a clear cut answer. Personally, I have not changed. Yes, I have matured and grown into a slightly altered version of myself but, no, I am still me. Do I want to change? Not really. Am I embarrassed by memories from the past? For sure. Am I embarrassed by others behavior? At times. What this really speaks to for me is, will we allow ourselves to be spirits practicing to be humans? Life is about practice, trial and error. If we can make peace with the natural ebb and flow of our life practice, we may find that witnessing proof that someone who has claimed to change and has in fact not changed really doesn't matter. We may find that what matters is to allow ourselves divine imperfection. Thank you so much for being my first question!
Julie, I am so happy for your prediction of the new job that came through. However there is more change coming as we are moving. We are leaving our house of 10 years, and found a great one to rent. The house is old with many issues and most recently moisture mold issues that are making us sick. I am just wanting to confirm that this is the path I should be on. It seems like it is as we found a great house, they will accept us with our puppies and actually told us they "adored" us. It is so hard for me as someone who moved over 25 times before I was 18 to accept change. It is so hard to tell people we are moving and they know we owned our home and are giving it back to the bank and moving on to better things. Your thoughts?
Dear Julie, Forgiveness. How does one forgive a loved one for betrayal, cruelty and hurt they have caused so many people. Forgivenss is part of the healing process, and allows one to move forward, otherwise we are stuck in the past. What is the best process you can suggest to let go of the emotional hurt, damage and pain one has caused, and to empower ones self to have the ability to forgive and move forward and be happy once again? Daria
Congratulations on manifesting a great new place to live! I absolutely agree this is the move for you. There is more to this new place than it just being a place to live, you and your family will feel safe and at home right away. This process has been part of helping you to trust that you will always be provided for, the ease in which you found it and the instant acceptance for your whole family, including the puppies. Like you, I have moved so many times it’s practically a punch-line. If accepting change is hard on you I’d like to point out that you have likely become very adept at accepting change. I wonder if what you have a hard time with is the actual change, as in changing routines? Or the fear of the unknown? If someone would have told you 10 years ago that you would ultimately leave your home because it would make you sick would you have not moved in? You would have moved in because at the time it was the perfect place for you. Change is often the result of out growing that which was familiar and stepping into our new life. Whether intentional or not, you have grown in the last 10 years and your life and environment want to grow with you. If this brings you any comfort at all, in the last 6 years I have known very successful individuals who have gone from multi-millionaires to welfare recipients-literally. We are in the process of collectively evolving to hold open thoughts for those who move, lose jobs, houses and financial security. People understand more than we know. Everyone has their own story of gain, loss and renewal. Your story just added a new chapter of how you found a great new healthy place to live! Thank you for writing!
Dear Julie,
ReplyDeleteCan people truly change? I want to believe this is true. Not only for others also myself. When thinking back on my life I am embarrassed in a lot of places based on my reactions to some situations due to the level of my emotional maturity. Scary to think if people CAN’T change then I still have within me the immaturity to continue to react in manors which would leave me embarrassed for myself once again. Maybe people can change and it’s more about the growth people make along the journey. Growth = Change. No Growth = No Change. Then to complicate things…how to react when someone claims change and yet behavior in secret reveals no change. Do people REALLY want to change? Or is the drone of life enough? What do you think?
First Jamie, let me thank you for asking such a simple, direct question..just kidding!
ReplyDeleteWhile I hear you're asking me about people changing, it feels like the underlying issue is about being embarrassed. Embarrassment is about the ego, so does the ego change? What does the ego need? Not to be embarrassed? What is lost in being embarrassed?
We cannot answer whether people really "want" to change as that decision is so intimate it would be nothing more than a guess.
Let's consider an alternative to changing. The question has me feel that control is at stake. Is it possible to choose to let go of the judgment you hold on yourself for behavior that may well have been age appropriate? Is it an option to allow for imperfection? What is lost at being imperfect? What is lost at witnessing others imperfection?
I realize I am doing as much asking as answering but we can agree, what you posed is no simple matter with a clear cut answer.
Personally, I have not changed. Yes, I have matured and grown into a slightly altered version of myself but, no, I am still me.
Do I want to change? Not really. Am I embarrassed by memories from the past? For sure. Am I embarrassed by others behavior? At times. What this really speaks to for me is, will we allow ourselves to be spirits practicing to be humans? Life is about practice, trial and error. If we can make peace with the natural ebb and flow of our life practice, we may find that witnessing proof that someone who has claimed to change and has in fact not changed really doesn't matter. We may find that what matters is to allow ourselves divine imperfection.
Thank you so much for being my first question!
Julie,
ReplyDeleteI am so happy for your prediction of the new job that came through. However there is more change coming as we are moving. We are leaving our house of 10 years, and found a great one to rent. The house is old with many issues and most recently moisture mold issues that are making us sick. I am just wanting to confirm that this is the path I should be on. It seems like it is as we found a great house, they will accept us with our puppies and actually told us they "adored" us. It is so hard for me as someone who moved over 25 times before I was 18 to accept change. It is so hard to tell people we are moving and they know we owned our home and are giving it back to the bank and moving on to better things. Your thoughts?
Excited but nervous
Dear Julie,
ReplyDeleteForgiveness. How does one forgive a loved one for betrayal, cruelty and hurt they have caused so many people. Forgivenss is part of the healing process, and allows one to move forward, otherwise we are stuck in the past. What is the best process you can suggest to let go of the emotional hurt, damage and pain one has caused, and to empower ones self to have the ability to forgive and move forward and be happy once again? Daria
Congratulations on manifesting a great new place to live! I absolutely agree this is the move for you. There is more to this new place than it just being a place to live, you and your family will feel safe and at home right away. This process has been part of helping you to trust that you will always be provided for, the ease in which you found it and the instant acceptance for your whole family, including the puppies.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I have moved so many times it’s practically a punch-line. If accepting change is hard on you I’d like to point out that you have likely become very adept at accepting change. I wonder if what you have a hard time with is the actual change, as in changing routines? Or the fear of the unknown?
If someone would have told you 10 years ago that you would ultimately leave your home because it would make you sick would you have not moved in? You would have moved in because at the time it was the perfect place for you. Change is often the result of out growing that which was familiar and stepping into our new life. Whether intentional or not, you have grown in the last 10 years and your life and environment want to grow with you.
If this brings you any comfort at all, in the last 6 years I have known very successful individuals who have gone from multi-millionaires to welfare recipients-literally. We are in the process of collectively evolving to hold open thoughts for those who move, lose jobs, houses and financial security. People understand more than we know. Everyone has their own story of gain, loss and renewal. Your story just added a new chapter of how you found a great new healthy place to live!
Thank you for writing!